I wrote this a while ago and had it published last month. I experienced a miscarriage. It’s a fairly common occurrence–20% of all pregnancies end in one–but I found it incredibly devastating. As do thousands of others. I shared this in a personal essay at Entropy Magazine–to help dissipate grief, to shine a light, to feel differently about the experience, to understand.

I’ve gotten a lot of responses from readers and others who have experienced this, and I’m glad I shared. I’m glad they reached back out to me. I’m glad we have this other space that we share together, even if it is covered with clouds. This was my first personal essay–and it was such an intimate one–and so I had some trepidation before it went to print. When I quieted myself to find out what was really speaking in me, I only heard my spirit say, Print it. Print it. Print. it. Because what happened was maybe personal, but also not mine. I feel like it happened for so many of us–so even if I was speaking from an intensely personal event, I also wasn’t. I was speaking about a human one.

I hug my partner. I hug my publisher. I hug the phantom never-child that has evaporated into day. And now, several months after the smallest calamity, I can begin to feel some happiness again.

I’m happy to share I’ll be reading on Saturday May 28th for a festival celebrating Asian Pacific American Heritage Month at the Lighthouse Writers Workshop in Denver. Doors open and reception starts at 5:30; reading from 6-8pm. Being an East Coast native, I’m curious to hear from Colorado writers and compare notes about our experiences and interests. It should be a lot of fun! I’ll be reading with

Berellyn Alberca
Cynthia Wong
Ayla Sullivan
Teow Lim Goh
Kino
Morgynne D’sulueti Tora
Karl Chwe
Am Pham
Stephen Garcia
Lelia Browne
June Inzuka
G Yamazawa

I’m really excited and honored to share that I’ll be reading this Friday evening at the Center for Book Arts in Manhattan with one of my favorite living authors and human beings, Douglas Kearney. A National Poetry Series winner, editor of the Best American Experimental Poetry anthology, and astoundingly intelligent shape-shifting/genre bending author whose performances animate the page incredibly, Douglas is a role model and aspirational figure for me. 

Curated by former Queens Poet Laureate Paolo Javier, the Center for Book Arts reading series pairs authors with outstanding visual artists to design event-specific, limited edition broadsides to commemorate the night. I’m thrilled that my poetry will be graphically represented in this way by visual artist Elizabeth Sheehan. 

Click here to RSVP

Here’s the formal announcement:

@ the CENTER FOR BOOK ARTS’ BROADSIDE SPRING READING SERIES

MAY 20th, 6:30 PM – 8:00 PM

With Douglas Kearney & Sueyeun Juliette Lee

The Center’s Broadside Reading Series produces 12 limited-edition letterpress-printed broadsides each year, featuring the poetry of New York-based writers of diverse backgrounds. Our Spring 2016 series is organized by Guest Curator Paolo Javier. Poet laureate of Queens (2010-2014), Javier has published several collections of poetry, including Court of the Dragon (Nightboat Books), which Publisher’s Weekly calls “a linguistic time machine”.
Douglas Kearney has published three collections of poetry and teaches at CalArts. His third poetry collection, “Patter”, was a finalist for the California Book Awards in Poetry. A collection of his opera libretti, “Someone Took They Tongues.”, is available now.
Sueyeun Juliette Lee works for a women’s shelter in Denver and was a 2013 Pew Fellow in the Arts for Poetry. Her third collection, “Solar Maximum”, was published in 2015.
Suggested donation: $10 / $5 members
Guests receive a free letterpress broadside, produced by artists at the Center. 

The Center’s Literary Programs are supported, in part, by public funds from the New York State Council on the Arts with the support of Governor Andrew Cuomo and the New York State Legislature, and from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, in partnership with the City Council.

The Center for Book Arts

28 West 27th Street, 3rd Floor

New York, NY 10001
(212) 481-0295

http://centerforbookarts.org/

With immense gratitude to Laura Goldstein and Jen Karmin at the Red Rover Series for hosting me for what proved to be an incredible weekend, I’m amazed to say that my performance installation Blue Light and Wave was briefly reviewed by Art in America. 

The work would not have been possible without support from the Pew Foundation, Kunstnarhuset Messen in Norway, Counterpath Press and Gallery for rehearsal space, and Colorado Creative Industries for financing part of my appearance at the IN>TIME Performance Art Festival. 

I’m thinking, too, of my friend Bjørn Otto Wallevik who helped shoot video on site, Julia Cohen for hosting me in Chicago, and Jonathan Hamilton for videography support on a new project. 

I’m grateful and happy. Yay. 

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